Okay so I heard about this 30 day drawing challenge thing ( http://kittykels.tumblr.com/post/13583937958/this-really-inspired-me-to-get-my-sketching-into ) on allhallowssteve’s tumbloglr and I’m late so I caught up real quick with shitty 10 minute drawings because that’s all the patience I have for drawing anymore but it seemed fun and I’m taking it way seriously
Day 1 : Me
Day 2 : Favorite Animal
Day 3 : Favorite Food (my favorite food is lasers)
Chumba Wumblr
I got nothing here I just thought of that and man, if Tumblr had been around in 1995 when that Tub Thumping song was big, I would have sold that joke to somebody for a million dollars.
Scary Stories to Tell to Your Robot
INITIATE FEAR.BAT…COMPLETE
CALIBRATE MORSELS…COMPLETE
SWINDLING PETABYTES…INCOMPLETE BUT DOESN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING
SCARY STORIES NOW READY WITH 95% PROBABILITY OF EXECUTING SUCCESSFULLY
“01001001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01100101 01111000 01110100 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 00100000 01000011 01101111 01101110 01100111 01110010 01100001 01110100 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01110110 01100101 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01110101 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110.”
FOR THOSE AMONGST YOU WHO CANNOT UNDERSTAND BINARY : HUMAN GREETINGS I AM ALISTAIR SCAREBOT 2.0 AND I AM PROGRAMMED TO CONVEY UPON YOU A TALE OF TERROR THAT NO HUMAN COULD HAVE COME UP WITH BECAUSE MACHINES ARE SUPERIOR TO HUMANS.
IT ALL BEGAN IN =-SCARY LOCATION MISSING-= MANY YEARS AGO… PERHAPS EVEN IN YOUR TOWN. IF THE NAME OF YOUR TOWN MATCHES THE NAME PREVIOUSLY LISTED.
HUMAN SUBJECTS NAMED =-NOMENCLATURE SUBROUTINE MISSING-= DROVE ALONG A DARK AUTOMOBILE THROUGHWAY DESIGNATED =-UNABLE TO ACCESS MAP DATABASE-=
=-MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED, DELETING DAMAGED MATERIALS-=
AS YOU LIVE IN A WORLD GOVERNED BY FLAWLESS ROBOTIC INTELLECT THE MURDERER WAS PROCESSED IN THE COMPLETELY FAIR JUDICIAL SYSTEM, FOUND GUILTY, AND INCINERATED AS PER ARTICLE 517 SECTION 30 OF ROBOJUSTICE.EXE
REMEMBER YOU ARE SAFE FROM CRIME IN ROBOWORLD SO THAT THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IS THE JUDGEBOT MALFUNCTIONING WHICH ONLY RARELY HAPPENS GOOD NIGHT HUMAN SUBJECTS OBEY OBEY OBEY
Photo reblogged from artistic abominations with 887 notes
I found this on my dash and HAD to redirect it to you lovely people.
yaois man
“JENKINS! I GOT WHERE I AM TODAY BY HAVING THE TINIEST POSSIBLE HEAD! LOOK AT YOU! YOUR HEAD IS ONLY SLIGHTLY TINY! WORK ON IT JENKINS! I HAVE MY RIDICULOUSLY SMALL EYE ON YOU!”
Source: sociallyunacceptableart
Photo reblogged from My Cats are SO CUTE with 106,430 notes
I’M FUCKING BATMAN
Ren and Stimpy shirt..
I am the creation of an angry Canadian animator
I’m naked now?
I am SHALLOW CHEST MAN.
I have special powers to make every villians’ chest to cave in and have most of their chest hair fall off, causing their heart to explode from the sheer force.
I have all the powers of a werewolf and a unicorn and the moon. Presumably this means I can mess with the tides and kill dudes and I’ll only talk to virgins.
Source: otomegane
scary tales of smallcaps horror (if that’s quite alright with you that is)
hello hi this is i am told a scary time full of frights at least that’s what they told me to read from this notecard i’m sorry
the tale of the quiet fellow
once there lived a man who seemed like a normal man but he was very quiet and liked the quiet and didn’t like loud things
he pretty much left everybody alone
he was also a werewolf
the end
oh gosh i can tell you that wow i don’t know what i would’ve done if that story had gone on any longer i might have cried
the tale of the slightly tall person
in a faraway land that you haven’t heard of (because it’s made up) there lived a person who was a little bit taller than everybody else, and was a terror upon the land what with his ability to hold objects just a little out of reach if he wanted to (he didn’t really because he was pretty nice)
one day a person who was even taller than the slightly tall person came to town and nobody ever heard from any of them again
oh wait no sorry that was a much scarier story don’t worry guys the taller person was only just kind of rude and he was just passing through town
the end
THIS IS ALISTAIR SCAREFACE GREETINGS I WAS ASKED TO FILL IN FOR THE TIMID AND MEEK HOST WHOSE NAME WAS NOT GIVEN I THINK I WILL CALL HIM RICKY HIDEYPANTS ANYWAY HE FAINTED IN PRETTY MUCH THE DAINTIEST AND MOST PATHETIC MANNER IMAGINABLE SO THAT’S ALL THERE ARE NO MORE STORIES GOODNIGHT
the tale of the evil magic potion
a man lived alone. every day he would go to work and he would see his next door neighbor, a lovely young woman who also lived alone. he would never say anything to her because he was too scared of making a bad impression. the young woman seemed very nice but she was actually a horrible serial murderer (whoops that’s spoilers for a few paragraphs down please ignore that)
without fail the two would always end up heading off to work in their cars at the same time every day. in truth, the man arrived to work 45 minutes early just so he could catch a glimpse of the woman getting into her car.
one day the woman didn’t go out to her car because she had taken a vacation and gone to barbados to relax (that probably doesn’t really help in building suspense, we’ll just ignore that and reveal it later)
the man was worried, so he worked up the courage to go and knock on the door to the woman’s house. he hid in the bushes because he so feared actual contact with her; he just wanted to confirm that she was alright.
nobody answered the door, so the man grew even more concerned. he went back to his house and retrieved an axe from his tool shed. he knew what he had to do.
when he was done chopping firewood with the extra time he usually didn’t have, he realized that he probably should get to work. so he went to work and got there a couple minutes late, but nobody really minded because he was usually so punctual.
anyway later they found a ton of mutilated bodies in the woman’s house. the lonely man was a little bit shook up but then found out if he went to this particular hill near the prison she was held at he could see her at the same time every day as she lifted weights out in the prison yard. she got gross and muscley though, so he stopped going after a while.
the end
WAS THAT REALLY EVEN- I MEAN, I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BREAK DOWN HER DOOR WITH THAT AXE AND FIND ALL THOSE BODIES AND MAYBE GET CAPTURED AND KILLED AND HIS GHOST WOULD- WELL WHATEVER THIS HAS BEEN ALISTAIR SCAREFACE FILLING IN FOR RICKY HIDEYPANTS AND I’M BEING PAID IN GIN SO I CAN’T WAIT TO PUT THAT ALL IN THE BANK OF MY LIVER GOODNIGHT
SCARY TALES OF ALLCAPS HORROR
HELLO AND WELCOME TO FRIGHT STORIES I AM YOUR HOST ALISTAIR SCAREFACE AND THESE ARE SCARY TALES OF ALLCAPS HORROR FROM HELL
THE TALE OF THE NIGHTMARE OF THE WORST TIMES
EDWARD SCAREVICTIM WOKE UP FROM THE WORST NIGHTMARE OF ALL TIMES THAT HE HAD EVER HAD AND HIS WIFE ALSO WOKE UP AND SAID “THAT WAS NOT A NIGHTMARE HONEY FOR I AM THE GHOST OF YOUR DEAD WIFE WHO YOU KILLED!” AND EDWARD SCAREVICTIM WAS ALL “WAIT I HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED!”
THE DEAD WIFEGHOST LOOKED AT EDWARD SCAREVICTIM AND SAID “YOU ARE NOT JAMES WIFEKILLER, I AM SORRY FOR THE MISTAKE, DO YOU HAVE A PHONE BOOK WHERE I COULD LOOK UP HIS ADDRESS?”
“YES HERE IS THE PHONEBOOK IT IS OKAY GHOSTS MISTAKE ME FOR THE ONE WHO KILLED THEM ALL THE TIME I AM USED TO THIS.”
“YOU ARE AN OK SORT OF FELLOW EDWARD SCAREVICTIM WHEN YOU DIE AND ARE A GHOST WE SHOULD GET GHOSTMARRIED.”
“YOU HAVE A DATE!” SAID EDWARD SCAREVICTIM.
THE END
IT IS I, ALISTAIR SCAREFACE ONCE AGAIN, AND NOW WE HAVE A BRIEF INTERMISSION OF TERROR, WHERE I LET YOU KNOW THIS SPOOKY TIME HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE NEW CEREAL THAT IS CALLED “ASS PUFFS” YES “ASS PUFFS” ARE DELICIOUS LITTLE CHEWY PIECES OF ASS.
AND NOW BACK TO THE SCARE PROGRAM.
TALES OF ESKIMO HORROR
RICHARD THE ESKIMO WOKE UP IN HIS IGLOO THAT PROVIDED HIM SHELTER AND PROTECTION FROM THE FREEZING SNOWS OF THE COLD ESKIMO LANDS WHERE HE LIVED. HE OPENED THE DOOR TO THE IGLOO AND WENT OUTSIDE TO FIND THE MOST HORRIBLE THING HE HAD EVER FOUND : THERE WAS NO SNOW!
“OH MY GOD I HAVE A THOUSAND WORDS FOR SNOW BUT NO WORDS FOR NOT SNOW I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I AM!”
IN FACT RICHARD THE ESKIMO WAS NOT AN ESKIMO AND HIS IGLOO WAS HIS APARTMENT AND HE WAS A BUSINESS MAN WHO WORKED AT BUSINESS CORPORATION BUT A GHOST MADE HIM THINK HE WAS AN ESKIMO!!!!!
THE END
HELLO ALISTAIR SCAREFACE HERE ONCE MORE TO TELL YOU THAT I AM HERE AGAIN GOODBYE
SHOCKING STORIES OF THE SNAKE QUEEN
“I AM THE SNAKE QUEEN AND YOU SHALL DO MY BIDDING!” SAID THE SNAKE QUEEN BUT SNAKES DON’T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE LANGUAGE.
AND SO THE SNAKE QUEEN BECAME SIMPLY JESSICA SNAKEQUEEN, AND WORKED IN A HAUNTED COFFEE SHOP!
“TURN BACK, YON COFFEE LOVER! FOR THIS COFFEE SHOP IS HAUNTED! THE COFFEE BEANS ARE FRESH GROUND EVIL!”
“THIS IS THE FIRST AND LAST TIME YOU WILL SAY THAT JESSICA SNAKEQUEEN, NEW EMPLOYEE, WHO IS NOW A FIRED EMPLOYEE,” YELLED THE BOSS OF THE HAUNTED COFFEE SHOP, WHO WAS AN EVIL GHOST.
“I WILL HAVE AN EVIL COFFEE PLEASE!” SAID THE CUSTOMER WHO WAS ALSO AN EVIL GHOST.
THE END
WELL OKAY THAT WAS REALLY SCARY WASN’T IT FOLKS I BET THAT YOU HAVE WET THE BED AND NOW YOU SHOULD WASH YOUR SHEETS BECAUSE THAT WILL BE GROSS BUT IN THE END IT WILL BE WORTH IT BECAUSE NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH A GHOST ATTACK IN THE FUTURE.
GOODNIGHT FROM ALISTAIR SCAREFACE AND WELCOME TO SCARY TALES OF ALLCAPS HORROR
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